Bonding

In hundreds of instances when I’ve asked salespeople the key to them winning new business, they cite their ability to form a relationship with that prospect.

Nothing earth shattering there. In a highly competitive market, without a relationship formed with your key contact it’s very difficult to unlock key information or get important access.

To build a relationship it starts with credibility and then moves on to   Without going too deep on these, let’s summarize credibility as them seeing you know your stuff. And trust means they believe what you say and that you’re not out to take advantage of them.

So far so good. But in a highly competitive market, you have to assume your competitor has the ability to do that too. And you have to assume that their products are pretty good, their support is at least OK and so forth. In other words, from the prospect’s perspective, you guys are more or less “equal”.

What would cause the prospect to choose one over the other?

I contend that that it’s the salesperson who forms the strongest relationship, the one who forms a superglue-like bond with the prospect. And that bond is formed when the rep can change the prospect’s mind.

Here’s what I mean: The prospect believes one thing. In order to change that belief, you have to open up their mind to something they never thought about, or reframe their belief into a new meaning. Usually we do that by providing counterintuitive information with proof.

When you do that you immediately get their attention. And once they think about it and agree with it, you go beyond salesperson credibility & trust to something much higher. You become a thought leader, a wise person, someone with insight.

And once they see you that way, they want to hang with you. They see you in a whole new light and there’s this gravitational pull towards you. You’ve established a bond. And, everything else being equal, you will win.

So, what’s the catch? This is hard work. Not only do you need to come up with the insight, you have to contend with human nature.

People are hardheaded, conditioned to be skeptical, & desperately need to protect their ego.

It may take some time for them to see it your way. It won’t always happen while you’re there talking to them. They may have to sleep on it, think about it a bit. So the transformation (which leads to the bonding) may take a few minutes or a few days or even longer.

But if it does come and when it does, you become the one they bond with and they don’t want you out of their orbit.

Another reason why this is hard is even when you have the insight, you have to have the skill to communicate it in a way that makes them receptive to the message. How you deliver the message is what lowers their defense mechanisms.

The counterintuitive idea is a logical play and the communication of the idea is an emotional one. We want them to think and the best way to have them do that is by making it non-threatening and non-aggressive.

Here’s an example of a counterintuitive idea. 10 years ago I wrote a book for recent college graduates called “The Strategic College Graduate: 7 Steps To Getting the Job You Really Want”. It’s still available on Amazon. While most job-hunting recommendations were to cast a wide net, my system focused on going narrow and deep. Select a niche, research it, create custom messages to handpicked organizations, and so on. A lot of young adults landed really good jobs using this method.

So, my assignment for you this week, should you decide to accept it, is to start brainstorming insights, counterintuitive information that you can share with your prospects so they will more likely bond with you. And if you’d like to get my opinion on them, send me an email. No charge. I’d love to see it.  

Smart Selling,

Bob